Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For Your Needs. Stop Meddling!

“RiRi, may we recommend a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors ever produced in India back into Nehru?”

(Disclaimer: this really is a work of satire.)

Rihanna did the unthinkable. She had the temerity to provoke

‘shine just like a diamond’ ‘bharatiya ratna’, winner of three awards that are national Bollywood Queen — Kangana Ranaut. How dare the singer tweet her help for farmers’ protests!

RiRi ended up being designed to be sorry straight away. Ms Ranaut shut her down such as the online in Delhi NCR throughout the police-farmer clashes. Although not before giving Rihanna a collision program on democracy by trivialising peoples legal rights issues and dismissing dissenting voices as ‘Chinese agents’.

Just Ms Ranaut has endowed on by herself the honour of sitting for a top horse and dismissing the agitating farmers as ‘terrorists’, dying to divide Asia like pizza slices.

She extends to regulate how they truly are supposed to experience laws and regulations that provide more agency to corporates than farmers. Most likely, agitating voices are only ‘wild thoughts!’

Twitter Reacts as Rihanna Tweets About Farmers Protest

Rihanna, You’re Asking The Incorrect Qs. Here’s What You Need To Be Tweeting About

But Rihanna must not for a brief moment think she’s free to tweet about Asia from her high horse.

Considering that the woman continues to be at nighttime about do’s and here do n’ts’s a list she should avoid:

• The protestors whom passed away on Delhi edges.
• The town Asia has generated 4.5kms inside Indian territory.
• A comedian, Munawar Faruqui, that is languishing in prison for a tale he never cracked.
• Pinjra Tod activist, Natasha Narwal, that will continue steadily to stay in prison for communal violence she did not incite.
• So a number of other human being legal rights activists and workers that are social.

Here’s exactly just what Rihanna should tweet about. What makes Indians rushing down to Maldives rather than Barbados for Instagrammable holiday photos? Why did Jahangir provide East India the permit to trade in Asia? Melody itnee chocolatey kyon baani?

Yet this ‘not a Padma Shri awardee’ thought we would shed crocodile rips for terrorists parked at Singhu edge like obsolete sarkari Ambassador automobiles and waiting around for Asia to colonise us.

Dekho Rihanna, it really is obvious that too quarantining that is much fogged up your mind.

May we recommend ‘work work work’ or even a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors produced in India’s history and geography to Nehru?

Or we’re able to prompt you to sit for Kamdhenu Gau-vigyan Prachar Prasar Pareeksha to see silver within the milk

desi cows squirt, while whispering nothings that are sweet their ear.

It really is pretty obvious you might be woefully unaware which our federal government could be the most sensible thing to own occurred to Bharat since Lord Rama.

Kangana Called Out for Calling Farmers ‘Terrorists’ & Rihanna Fool

Dear RiRi, Exactly Just What Have You Done? Now Also Mia Khalifa’s Standing With Your Farmers!

Rihanna, you have got currently done us damage that is much gotten the planet to fairly share one thing apart from Trump and Biden. Distracted Greta Thunberg from melting polar caps, shrinking woodlands and seeking angrily at world leaders.

Now bad Kangana is likely to be compelled to provide a thumbs right down to Thunberg. Ask her to focus on her behalf anger administration issue. View good old fashioned film like ‘Shakalaka Boom Boom’ with a buddy and chill.

Dear RiRi, your time and effort to destabilise Asia from your own mansion in London will force us to snatch your ‘umbrella ella ella, eh eh’ away from you. No longer dancing at Indian weddings for your needs. Particularly the big fat people in Asia. You have ‘hit your toe with your own personal hammer’.

Although we carry on our efforts to discredit you, we humbly counsel you to please get back your meddling international hand and why don’t we criminalise protests, take down college pupils, incarcerate stand-up comics and upright reporters, in comfort.

You will get within our method of letting lapdogs thrive.

Hai Ram, look everything you’ve done! Now it is Mia Khalifa standing with this farmers!

Sit back, you trick. Kangana will undoubtedly be at Mia’s home to phone her a ‘chudail’. With no card that is aadhaar you, Mia.

(an instructor not too sometime ago, Purba Ray took to composing on a whim after making her work. She’s got a viewpoint on almost essay writer every thing, reality or fiction, beginnings or ends, light or heavy, long or short. She tweets at @Purba_Ray. This really is a individual web log and the views expressed would be the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is in charge of them.)

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